Are you a woman in AV productions or a female in any other niche that is running with too much masculine energy? What does that even mean?
I first learned of the divine feminine and masculine energy while behind the scenes as a technical director and video producer, working a 3-day event last year, and it never dawned on me how much I was least leaning into my masculine energy, my “Yang”.
What is Yin and Yang?
Yin and Yang, you’ve heard the terms before. Yin refers to the feminine energies in life, and yang refers to the masculine energies in life. Giving is an action of our divine masculine, and receiving is an action of our divine feminine, and a balance of both energies is when we feel harmonious within. It’s simple, yet oddly challenging to achieve. It’s spiritual as much as it’s a mental practice.
No one will ever attain a perfect balance of both energies. But we all present with greater dominance of one or the other. If you have not figured it out yet and are curious to find out which energy you lean more into, check out this article that described the characteristics of each.
I’ve mentioned before in previous blog posts and many LinkedIn articles, how in the last three years I’ve been on a journey of mental and physical fitness.
It’s hard work, and it’s a work in progress, and often, every time you think you got to the end of the journey, you discover something new to tackle.
Such was the case during one of my recent therapy sessions when I had this big AHA moment.
I realized for the first time that for a very long time, spanning over my 20 yrs career in event productions, I’ve leaned so heavily into the “Yang”, my masculinity in order to “fit in” with the AV guys and find some sense of belonging as a #womaninAV, that I forgot what my “Yin”, my feminine version of me looked like, so much so that at one point I completely lost myself in between the two.
Always feeling like, too much and yet, not enough.
When the awful awareness of it came under the spotlight, I got scared to death.
If I didn’t know who I was anymore,
how would I ever fulfill my potential?!
There are many women in AV who are struggling to find their place in the industry.
It’s not easy being a woman in a male-dominated field, and it can be even harder if you’re not able to fully embrace your feminine side.
I’m here to tell you that I’m not the only one, and you’re not either. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to be a woman in AV. You don’t have to be overly feminine or overly masculine to succeed. You just have to be true to yourself.
Embracing your feminine energy doesn’t mean giving up your strength or your ambition. It means finding a balance between your masculine and feminine energies, so you can be the best version of yourself.
Let’s work together to create a more diverse and inclusive industry where everyone can thrive.
I’ve always been known as someone that knows what she wants, and has plenty of energy and drive to make it happen. This hustle has always come so naturally to me, and I am very much aware of how I am in most instances not giving myself enough credit for all that I do. As I am learning more about myself, I am also learning that it’s common for the greater Yang folks to overextend themselves and do all the things for all the people. To give too much and not receive enough.
So for the last couple of years, I’ve put in the hard work to rediscover who I am,
especially in this season of my life,
and truly embrace not just the driven, strong, confident, bold force that I am,
but also more of my feminine side,
and my sexuality in all its beauty (yes, I said it out loud).
My “Yin” has always been there, right under the surface, but I’ve suppressed it with everything I had.
As a major empath, I tend to feel it all. I often feel things before actually understanding them, which can easily turn into me becoming an energy sponge and taking on the energy of anyone and any environment I’m in. I’ve always had a sensitive, bleeding heart and will always side with and elevate the underdog. While many perceive me as an extrovert as I can be one for a limited and controlled amount of time, I see myself as more of an ambivert, because I actually require a larger amount of alone time than most. I am also learning, that it’s okay to express my needs. They’re just as valuable and important as anyone else’s.
On this mental and physical fitness journey, being consistent with my regimented workout routine and following the actionable steps my therapist has been giving me, I know that I will eventually get to a place where I no longer fear that, for example, if I showed up to a production meeting wearing a glitzy dress, showing cleavage, wearing makeup, putting on some enhancement lashes, I’d be perceived as a “babe” which in my mind very much meant being equal to and perceived as less capable, intelligent and competent.
There’s obviously a balance, and there’s classy in the way we present ourselves.
But getting rid of the old narrative I’ve been telling myself for so long and embracing the whole version of who I am, intelligent, strong, confident, but also sensitive and sexy, well that’s pure gold! ?
So, if you’re a woman in AV and facing a similar challenge, do go and hit the gym hard in order to build that physical strength, but also don’t be afraid to go see a therapist when you feel stuck, or feel like you’re losing yourself in between both energies. It’s essential to take a step back and reflect. Therapy sessions, self-reflection, and mentorship can help us discover and embrace our unique qualities. We need to remember that being different is a strength, not a weakness. Plus,
Your mental fortitude is worth every penny spent!
It’s essential to also find balance in our energies to feel harmonious within ourselves. When we embrace our unique qualities, we can bring a different perspective and contribute to a more diverse and inclusive workplace. It’s okay to be vulnerable and express our femininity in a male-dominated field.
Me, I am learning every day to lean more into my innate strengths without any apology or trepidation.
And if you’re like me, more Yang than Yin, the sooner you own that you’re a strong, benevolent leader, the easier it will be for others to follow suit and help you out.
What’s cool about women like us, is that while we were born with all this cosmic consciousness that has us totally winning in life, we’re also sensitive and emphatic and not trying to win if it means that others lose.
Trust yourself that everyone wins when you take control.
It’s a position of great responsibility, and not for everyone.
Here are some actionable steps to implement if you struggle with too much “Yang”:
- Don’t be afraid to delegate. Let others pull through. Let them fail. Let it be a reflection of them and not you. Even if another won’t complete the task as well as you would, let them do it and reserve your energy. You know you’ll have plenty of opportunities to exercise your power; save your energy for those that count the most, like for example, your friends and family.
- Get comfortable watching people fall apart and make totally preventable mistakes. It’s the only way they’ll learn and grow into better versions of themselves and become better able to support you. Maybe it’s not that everyone else is so incompetent but it’s more that you’re ultracompetent.
- Before judging others or feeling let down, slow your roll. Take a moment to explain yourself and your expectations. Teach others how you work as a way of inspiring them to rise. Repeat this to yourself: “I am a great giver and an excellent receiver.”
In conclusion, Don’t be afraid to embrace your feminine side. It’s a strength, not a weakness. And to all the men in the industry, don’t be afraid to embrace the feminine energy within you. It’s what makes you a well-rounded and empathetic professional. As we continue to strive for diversity and inclusion in AV productions and other industries, let’s celebrate our differences and work towards a more harmonious balance of energies.
Remember, can’t nobody stop a star from shining!
PS: And don’t be surprised if I ditch my show blacks and show up all glitzy to my next production meeting ?
PPS: Also, just because I’m so much more aware of it now, doesn’t mean I’m now exempt from falling back into the old habit, every so often.
As a matter of fact, I did it just this week when I had the pleasure to meet someone very much aligned with my current mindset and my way of seeking things, what did you think I did? I fell right back into my masculine and it was so unsexy, I cringed when I replayed that interaction again and again in my mind. As I said, it’s a work in progress… Give yourself some grace. And keep moving forward.